Bridezilla Writes
Jan 29th, 2010 by croasyjr
Image, part 2
Yesterday I had another total running meltdown. The weather was gorgeous — close to 80 degrees — and the city had a post-rainstorm freshness that just begged me to come outside and play. I wanted to. I wanted to be outside, to enjoy the rarity of great weather in Chicago. But when I got halfway down my block, I just couldn’t keep going. Everyone was running. And I couldn’t run… my knee just won’t let me. So I turned around, went home, threw myself on our bed, and cried like a baby.
Read more here…
Image
So, my knee… is busted. I’m not totally sure what’s wrong with it — but there is definitely something wrong. It means that I’m not running right now. Even worse… it may mean that I won’t run for a while. I might not be able to run my 10 mile race in May, which was going to be my my first race ever.
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Sensitivity (or, Why Not to Have a Thick Skin)
I’m an extremely sensitive person. I cried during Air Bud (yes, the Disney movie starring a golden retriever). You know why, though? It’s the part where the kid has to leave Air Bud, his doggie friend, behind. I think there are some bad guys after the dog, and the kid abandons him for his own good. As Air Bud nearly drowns himself trying to cross the river, the kid yells at him “Go back! I don’t want you anymore!” Air Bud eventually gives up and turns around, as the kid cries and paddles away on his canoe (or something).
This scene was obviously meant to be touching, but I doubt many people actually shed a tear…
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Foundation
In the interest of actually having something to say before I say it, I’ve waited a while to add another “Bridezilla Writes” page. In the meantime, I have been SO busy at work, and so has Sean… this has made for a couple of really stressed people running into (and all over) each other! As we learn to manage our work stress and keep each other sane, I have rediscovered one of my most useful methods for dealing with anxiety.
Anxiety always forces me to pose the question of what my foundation really is…
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Forgiveness
What if, when we have hurt each other, we could just nix the seemingly inevitable cold war of silence and contempt? What if we became suddenly uninterested in who can hold out the longest, apologize the least, and come out on top? Will we always view the act of being the first to give in to our need for resolution as a sign of weakness? What if, instead, we raced each other to the finish line of apology and forgiveness?
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Identity
Since graduation, I’ve been working part time in a job that I — for the most part — really like. Working three short days a week has a lot of benefits — more free time (especially important while planning our wedding), more time spent with Sean. I have time to pursue things I love, like writing, reading, running, baking, etc. Since we never have had it any other way, even making just a part-time salary isn’t really a financial burden. We’re used to it and so we don’t feel a money crunch. I know that this luxury of extra time is a HUGE blessing. I spent most of college longing for more free time, and now I have it.
So why has this transition from full-time student to part-time employee been so rough for me?
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