Bridezilla Bakes

This post has been composing itself (in my head) since Monday — ya’ll might want to buckle your seat belts, because this is one of those rare occasions in which I know exactly what needs to be said here. And I’m sorry to say that the central point of this post will be this phrase, which has been echoing in my mind this week: “You can’t have everything.”

I know, you’re thinking, “how depressing…“. And if life were about having everything we wanted, I guess it would be a depressing thought. But that’s not what life is about, and I’m trying my best not to get too down about the thought that not everything in my life is going to unfold as perfectly as I want it to.

I don’t pretend to be a go-with-the-flow person. I’m not type A… I’m type A+. I’m a perfectionist, which for me means that I like to put everything in my life into categories (marriage, work, hobbies, health, etc.) and to occasionally — OK, constantly — take inventory of the status of each category. I inevitably and energetically hone in on the categories that are looking less-than-perfect, panic about their neglected state, try to hide the evidence from everyone else, and then improve whatever I feel is lacking. I’ll make it better — I’ll make it perfect — or I’ll die trying.

Sometimes, I resign myself to just dying while trying

I first had the “you can’t have everything” thought earlier this week, when Sean and I stopped to eat dinner at a restaurant on our way home from work. To most of you, this probably isn’t a huge deal, but to me… it felt a little like a failure. We had food at home that I could have made, and it certainly would have been healthier and cheaper to eat in. But it wouldn’t have been faster (not when you calculate in prep and cleaning time) and it would not have been as stress relieving as stopping and eating. And I had a ton to do. The “health” category and the “getting into grad school” categories were suffering badly, and I really needed to get in some working out and studying time.

As we drove home and thought about stopping to eat, I pondered my little categories, trying to decide which one to neglect and which one to nurture. It was like choosing between children. Then the light bulb went on, and I marveled again at the energy I waste cultivating these little pet neuroses upon which I build my identity. It was then I had the aha moment: we can’t have everything. Choosing to spend time working out is going to mean I can’t spend that time cooking (for example), and when time is limited, well… we’re just in a trade-off situation, and the sooner I can accept that, the better.

And, more importantly… it doesn’t matter if some areas of my life aren’t perfect. It doesn’t matter if they all aren’t perfect. It doesn’t matter if they all implode, or explode, or whatever. I’m accepted, I’m covered, I’m loved. That’s why I love Jesus, people. And I’m so grateful, so lucky, that I even have the luxury of thinking about maintaining my health, or my marriage, or my goals. Many people don’t have the time, energy, or resources to do that. I think I’d like to be more grateful, for what I have.

So what does this have to do with the food? Well, these bars (sent to me by a wonderful friend and reader!) are for those times when things may not be going too smoothly. You just don’t have time for that fabulous four-layer cake you had planned. You don’t have time for break-and-bake cookies… you don’t have time to tie your shoes. You’re in a trade-off situation, but you don’t want dessert to suffer.

For this situation, I bring you a Bridezilla Bakes mini-series (ok, two posts…) of no-bake desserts. If you don’t have time to bake — or if your kitchen is like mine, and turns into a burning inferno whenever you turn your oven on in the summer — these bars are an amazing alternative. My friend sent me the recipe because she thought they tasted even more like a peanut butter cup than my peanut butter chocolate chip blondies with dark chocolate ganache, and she was absolutely right. These are the perfect mix of sweet, salty, and chocolatey, and I’d actually take them over the pre-packaged candy any day of the week. And they were so fast to make. It’s almost miraculous, the amazingly delicious results this recipe produces in light of the time and energy it demands!

I’d like to close with a little wisdom from very smart people… the Rolling Stones. This is what I think of when I think about these peanut butter and chocolate treats:

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find…
You get what you need

No  Bake Peanut Butter and Chocolate Bars

Adapted from a church cookbook, recipe by Marguerite Lovelace, sent in by Deborah Inman

• 1 cup butter
• 1 cup peanut butter
• just over 1 cup graham cracker crumbs
• 1 lb. powdered sugar
• 1 (12 oz.) package Hershey’s kisses (I used 12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips because I like darker chocolate — worked great, no unwrapping)

Melt butter and mix with peanut butter, graham crackers and powdered sugar.  Press into a buttered 9 X 13-inch pan.  Melt chocolate (in a double boiler or the microwave) and spread over peanut butter mixture.  Slice when firm, then refrigerate.

Tags: brownies, chocolate, peanut butter